Loving You: A Lola Lupin Story
by starletontherise
Summary: Lola Lupin has seen so much pain and suffering in her seventeen years of life. Here she tells us the story of her suffering, and a few friends that make her find the happiness in life. Rating might change, I'm not sure.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter. Just my made up, Lola Lupin, whose family I do not own.

Author's Note: This is instead of "Survival" which I will not finish. I bit off more than I could chew, so instead, with a slightly different story line, I'm going to write a story of each character. It should be noted that the Potters have no special powers, because Lily did not die for Harry out of love; she won, and so the spell did not affect him. I changed some names, such as Lola's, and made her mother a pureblood, Florence Vance, sister of Emmeline Vance.

In 1981, James and Lily Potter defeated he who must not be named. Ten years later, he who must not be named came back. He took over through Professor Quirrell's body, and eventually made his own through the sorcerer's stone. He will live forever, unless someone defeats him and takes his elixir. However, all has not been lost. Although James and Lily were killed out of revenge, Sirius Black is the caretaker of their children, Harry and Helen. I also stay with him from time to time, during the phases of the moon in which it's too dangerous for me to stay with my father. I write this at seventeen years old as sort of a memoir of my life. If all this excitement – people who I referred to as my Aunt and my Uncle dying, a dark lord taking over – wasn't enough, I do have more to share. Here is my story.

I, Lola Florence Lupin, lost my mother at a very young age. She was giving birth to me when she died, at twenty years old. It was a tragedy and my father swore he'd never love again. Fortunately, that wouldn't be the case. But we'll get to that later. I grew up intimately with Sirius and Marlene Black (nee Mckinnon), James and Lily Potter (nee Evans), Lycoris and Megaera Black, who were Sirius's niece and nephew, as he could not produce his own children and his brother and sister-in-law had died most tragically when the children were four and six, and Harry and Helen Potter, daughter and son of James and Lily. We had a great time, and a loose understanding that the fourth member of the Marauders, as the men in this group including my father used to be known as, defected to the wrong side in a long-ago war that was waged out. We always believed Voldemort was gone – but he wasn't.

Despite the fact that Lily and James died when I was ten, my father still wanted me to enjoy my Hogwarts' years. Harry and Helen were sad, but they moved in with Sirius and Marlene and they tried to make the best world for them. Dad and I didn't live far from them. In Scotland, Sirius and Marlene had a manor. Since dad had a hard time getting a job because of his condition, Sirius built a one story house on his property. It had two bedrooms and a cellar that couldn't be broken through; his werewolf sanctuary. It was generous of them, and Hogwarts would be the first time that I would be away from the cozy land. At least Megaera was coming with me.

The year before Helen, Megaera, and I went away, Harry was sorted into Gryffindor while Lycoris was sorted into Slytherin. It was obvious that this strained Lycoris and Sirius's relationship, and that was when dad told me about Regulus Black, and the bad relationship Sirius had with him. Apparently Lycoris was his spitting image. He was better with Megaera, who apparently looked and acted a lot more like their cousin, Andromeda Black. I'd not seen much of her, and even then, she was much older than Megaera so the resemblance wasn't much besides familial to me.

It was a miracle when we were all placed in the same house; Helen "Nellie", Meg, and myself were all settled into Ravenclaw with two other girls; Luna Lovegood and Zelda Snape were all roommates, and pretty soon we all became the best of friends. It didn't take long for us to realize that our parents – well, dad really never hated anyone but Sirius and the late James Potter did – hated Zelda's father, along with a lot of the Hogwart's population. We didn't care, though, and after awhile even Sirius had to admit that Zelda was charming and sweet.

I met a boy who was all bruised up after Christmas break. He tried to cover it up, but the medicines stunk and they clearly weren't working. He was a Slytherin, but he spent a lot of time in the library. A second year, I knew he must know Lycoris and Harry, but he never mentioned them when we made small talk. He was a perfectly pleasant boy, especially after he found out my mother and father were both purebloods – except for my father's affliction, of course. He said that was well enough, and I was surely a pureblood. I'd smiled at that. Theodore Nott would affect my life far more than I would ever know, for years to come he would be a great part of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Okay, since Harry isn't the chosen one nobody really cares if he lives or dies. Voldemort believed his problem was Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and since they were murdered in Harry's first year, nobody is really a problem for him. He has the philosopher's/sorcerer's stone and pretty much, it seems like the wizarding world is doomed. Harry's still friends with Ron and Hermione, his best friend is just Lycoris Black… so they're not really as close as they would have been. The Triwizards are Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, and Victor Krum as they would have been had Harry not been so important. If anything's not clear, please let me know via PM so I can help everyone understand. xD Please review and all that!

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My third year was when things began to get worse in my life, but also, strangely, better. Lord Voldemort now had more followers than just the usual suspects; all young men aged fifteen and older, with half blood or better, were now permitted to join Lord Voldemort's ranks. Luckily, Lord Voldemort didn't think many women were worth their salt, with the exceptions of the few women he held in his ranks, he didn't seek more. Upon graduating from Hogwarts, however, all the young men who had joined up previously became full time death eaters. Previously they just did work for him over the summer and in the castle. The devastating part was that all boys, upon graduation of Hogwarts, had to sign up to work in Voldemort's army. If they did not, they would be hunted down and killed. That was when the order of the phoenix reformed. It provided hide outs for those men who simply could not or did not want to join Lord Voldemort's services, and hide outs for its fighters. Nobody was forced to fight, of course, but every order member held a different opinion of the men who chose to live under the order's protection but not fight. Many didn't have a good one.

Either way, I was very much aware of the order. They met at the Black manor, only a few yards from my own home. We were all sworn to secrecy, and unbreakable vows were even made for the older members – of course nobody could join the order until they'd graduated Hogwarts, and Meg and Lycoris were the only ones, along with me, that were not forced to take an unbreakable vow to keep the secret of the location of the order headquarters. Everyone was a secret keeper for the place; of course, Sirius's home had always been a secret. Previously James and Lily were the secret keepers but once they died, and once the order needed to be reopened, he offered his home. Sirius explained that he had too many crazy relatives to have his home known publically, anyway.

For some unknown reason, they'd decided to hold a Triwizard Tournament. A lot of people thought it was extremely stupid, but what was left of the Ministry that wasn't controlled by Voldemort – which was very little – wanted to gain support from foreign countries. When Cedric, Fleur, and Victor were all chosen, it was great fun watching them get through the obstacles. Of course, it was nerve wracking and most of us were nervous for the poor souls – but they seemed to be okay, at least by the Yule Ball. Meg was asked by a handsome French man who was flirtatious and very touchy feely. Ernie Macmillan had asked Helen, who'd accepted, and I'd been asked by Dean Thomas. I was excited to be going with anyone, to be honest, even if I'd never fancied Dean Thomas. I think, for both of us, it was a matter of convenience. We danced a few dances before he went off to bed, after Seamus and Lavender had disappeared off to goodness knows where.

I was disappointed that my dance partner turned in so early, and I pondered going back to the Ravenclaw common room. I accidentally bumped into a couple of Harry's friends; Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. They were dancing, looking as if nobody could take this day from them. Very happy indeed. I made my apologies and went out to the grounds, and found I hadn't been the only one who had an idea to come out here. Professor Snape was sneaking around and tearing people out of carriages who had been making out – possibly more. I tried to stifle a giggle when I saw Ernie and Helen being pulled from a wall – they'd been making out by the clock tower, each losing ten points from their houses. Then I saw something that shocked me. Tracey Davis, the beauty of Slytherin house, was pulled out of a carriage. She'd gone with Theodore Nott, and my heart felt as if I'd missed a step while wandering down a staircase as I waited for him to be yanked out of the carriage. It wasn't him, and I sighed with relief. Shock took over when I saw it was Vincent Crabbe – of all people! Tracey probably could have gotten any guy into that carriage, but Crabbe?

I walked back to the dance, determined to find Theodore. Meg looked bored with her French man, who was talking about quidditch in France, but I had something else on my mind. I saw him on the patio, hands holding the railing so tight that his knuckles were white. "Theodore?" I asked, when I got close enough. It was just him and I on the patio, and when he looked over his shoulder, silvery grey eyes meeting my brown ones, I blushed. I noticed him look down for a moment, and blushed even harder. He'd tried to be discreet, but he was just fifteen years old, and in his fourth year of Hogwarts. He was a teenage boy. "Why is your date with Vincent Crabbe?" I asked, trying to break the awkwardness of the moment, even if this subject was just as awkward.

He looked away and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag of it. I was shocked. He couldn't smoke here! Surely he'd get in trouble, right? Most of the professors had retired and Snape had made himself busy by looking for students participating in "lewd" behavior. "Tracey's family had taken a liking to me long ago – what with me being a Nott and all." I understood it probably meant that he was from a great, well respected pureblood family. That was all the rage now, with Voldemort taking over and nearly controlling the Ministry. In fact, he controlled much more than he had at the beginning of the school year. Everyone whispered that Rodolphus Lestrange would soon take over as Minister of Magic, while others speculated that Rabastan Lestrange would be the Headmaster. I didn't believe anyone could take over Dumbledore's job as long as he wanted it, so I felt safe here. For the most part.

"So what does that mean?" I asked gently.

"It means," he took another drag from his cigarette, "I'm supposed to marry her. We're betrothed." It felt like my stomach jumped to my throat when he said that, and I actually put a hand to my heart. Did I really have feelings for Theodore Nott? Sure, we chatted in the library, he was smart, he was funny, he was handsome… but I couldn't have feelings for him.

"Do you have any choice in the matter?" I tried to ask disinterested, but he rolled his eyes at me.

"A betrothal is something your parents do for you. They pick a woman of good standing and of pureblood. If The Dark Lord hadn't taken over, I probably would marry her. But," he took one last drag before stubbing his cigarette out and throwing it, "The ministry wants to get more purebloods – blood traitors – to marry into society so society will be bigger, so more children will be had. They're trying to make matches with blood traitors and those who support the dark lord. The Dark Lord thinks women will be easier to sway, especially if they fall in love."

I was shocked at this information – surely he wasn't supposed to share it with me. "How do you know all of this?" I asked, suddenly feeling like that'd been too much information. I was a pureblood. "Are you even allowed to share something like that with me?"

He snorted, "You'll find out after the Triwizard Tournament anyway. After graduating Hogwarts everyone's expected to marry, if they can't afford it there'll be a mass ceremony. And then they'll work on getting more loyal halfbloods to marry disloyal halfbloods." He acted as if this wasn't huge information at all. He sounded to all the world that he'd placed an order for tea and it'd come back with too little sugar in it. Did it bother him?

"Well, do you love Tracey?" Perhaps it was naïve. I don't know why I wanted to know. Well, I didn't know. Now I do, but that's a different story.

"Of course not." He said, not even looking at me. He thought I was stupid, but I really wasn't. It was complicated to understand the ins and outs of pureblood society. He'd been raised with it his entire life, but I was always just a blood traitor – it didn't matter to me.

"Well, since my father's a werewolf perhaps they won't assign me to marry anyone." I said quietly, looking away from him for a moment.

"Wrong. Your father won't marry anyone, for fear of passing the trait along. You, however, are a pureblood in the eyes of the Ministry. The Lupins were well respected before your grandfather turned blood traitor." I was surprised he knew that – did purebloods just sit about an memorize information about all pureblood families? It was as if he read my mind. "My uncle made a list of the sacred twenty eight purebloods. He neglected to mention many families, like, at one point, the Potters who have since became half-bloods, the Lupins, and even the Goyles and Crabbes. Despite the fact that Irma Crabbe married into the Black family in the late 30s. My uncle never liked any of those families, so he failed to mention them and a lot more. Merlin only knows why he mentioned the Weasleys. Anyway, the Notts know a lot about purebloods. My father's working on a new sacred pureblood directory that will not include some of the families that have defected to have blood, but include the ones my late uncle forgot." It wasn't like Theodore to ramble, but he was.

And then I noticed. He was looking at me, and the dance floor, and at me again. He was _nervous_. It wasn't difficult, even at the age of thirteen, to notice the signs of a young man wanting to ask a young woman to dance. I just didn't believe that Theodore Nott would want that from me. He and I had flirted – I thought, at least – and shared smiles and laughs but it was all confined to the library. He never even acted like I existed outside the library. Now he was… he was about to ask me to dance, and I was nervous as hell! Perhaps I was mistaken, though. He looked as if he didn't know how to say the words, and then, after some thought, his expression changed. He looked at me as if he were a gentleman and I were a lady, and this was what was meant to be.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, holding out his hand. He asked as if he had the right; as if nobody would judge us; as if his dorm mates wouldn't pick on him, pick on me! Later. But I nodded numbly, as if I had the right. As if Lycoris and Harry – like my brothers my whole life – wouldn't put a stop to any future between Theodore Nott and I, because they knew he was dangerous. They knew he bore the mark on his arm. I did not know. I was naïve, so I took his hand, and we danced. We danced far passed the time when most people slept. We were finally taken out by Severus Snape, while only two other couples remained; a French girl and a Durmstrang boy; Ginny and Neville, and myself and Theodore. He offered to walk me to the Ravenclaw tower, but I shook my head.

He kissed my hand and disappeared to the dungeons. Oh, there would be talk the next day; but I felt as if I were on a cloud. I walked up the steps with Ginny and Neville, both of whom said nothing until we separated for our respective dorms. I hugged each of them; an odd gesture considering I'd likely see them tomorrow, and bid them goodnight before making the trek to the Ravenclaw tower. When I got back, it seemed Meg had filled everyone in on my date with Theodore Nott, and they all laughed and asked us girls that had dates how it had been. Zelda Snape and Luna Lovegood hadn't been asked, so they hadn't been able to attend, only being third years. We laughed about how Ernie and Helen had been caught making out; how Meg had been bored nearly to death, she claimed, by her dance partner, and how odd it was that I would dance with Theodore Nott. They didn't know what was growing in my heart, and I'm sure I didn't know either. I do now.


End file.
